Conflict at Work: Good Fights, Bad Fights, and the Ones You're Taking Offline

Conflict is not the problem. Avoiding it is.

In this episode, Kate and Maddie get into one of the most misunderstood dynamics in workplace culture: conflict. Not the dramatic kind, but the everyday kind. The disagreement that goes unspoken in a meeting. The tension that surfaces as gossip rather than conversation. The team that looks cohesive on the surface but is quietly stuck.

They explore how we are each shaped around conflict before we even walk into a room, what leaders can do to manage themselves through difficult conversations, and how to build team cultures where productive, generative conflict is actually possible.

What we cover

How your personal history shapes the way you show up in conflict, often without you realising it.

The difference between task conflict (disagreeing about the work) and relational conflict (it has become about the person), and why one can tip into the other faster than you would expect.

Why high-agreeableness teams are particularly vulnerable to conflict going underground, and what that costs them over time.

The "above a five" rule: if a reaction is disproportionate, the issue is almost never the thing being discussed.

What to do before a difficult conversation, including timing, mindset, and the "just like me" exercise from Google's Project Aristotle research.

How to stay grounded during conflict: active listening, reflecting back, and what your body is telling you.

Practical tools for creating a culture of productive conflict in your team, including Nancy Kline's thinking rounds, pre-mortems, de Bono's six thinking hats, and how to set ground rules before you need them.

Resources mentioned

No Hard Feelings: Emotions at Work by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy

Time to Think by Nancy Kline (the thinking environment and thinking rounds)

The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni

The Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (a tool for understanding your conflict style)

De Bono's Six Thinking Hats

Try this this week

Start your next team meeting with a thinking round. Ask one question: what is going well on this project right now? Give everyone uninterrupted space to answer. Notice what it does to the room.

Get in touch

Got a question for our culture clinic at the end of the series? Send it to hello@acuriousspacepodcast.com

Find us at www.acuriousspacepodcast.com

Next episode

Subcultures within organisations: how to influence them, whether they are helpful, and what they mean for driving change across a whole organisation.